The lovebug bit me deep and hard and drew blood,and now I feel the pain.

The sun casts a bloody red light over my horizon, while her sky is lit with a golden hue..She is the star burning brightest in her constellation, as I am just a lone meteor drawn in by her gravity.

I wish I could just open up and talk to her..but somehow..words fail me when I look at her..even the slightest glance in her direction shakes me.Best I can do for now is to let her read my book..let her get a sense of me..just need her to notice me for who I am.

I've impulsively given my heart to one who is closer to perfection then many, and now she grasps it in her hands, squeezing it so tight, it almost hurts. But she doesn't know it, and she likely never will.


Her smile is all I could wish for. Dazzling. Mesmerizing. It diverted me from treading my lonely path in life to chase after that vision of happiness, companionship, and love. What I had ever truly wanted, all that I could ever want, it just came like that. Taking shape in the form of her. But still very out of my reach. Even though she was like a few seats away.

I don't have it in me to burst her bubble, the stable balance of life she already is in. I don't want to be a disturbance. So, I just admire her from afar, not wanting to taint her with the darkness in my mind, pouring my soul into the only outlets I know, reading & writing. I have never been one to talk much. I hope against hope that, maybe, just maybe, in some miraculous way, that she'll come to find me in the process of reading my book, to love me as I am.

Maybe it's just wishful thinking, but somehow, I can see a future with her.

Yeah, it's wishful thinking. I'm not good for her. Lolx

Night. I love you. =P

Sigh.

Today was a freaking bore. Didn't do much.Just went on comp and surfed till 5 when my sis came to take me to La Night Market near my home.Now it's bout 11.08 night time but bedtime's far off.



I had a really disturbing nightmare last night/this morning. Was walking round some mall with no one in it, but then as I walked on, people just appeared, like Poof! ...yeah, creepy huh?Well,after some randomness I walked on again then I met her. We walked around for a while, going up escalators and stuff, then *gasps* she held my hand and I held her waist. Yeah yeah say what you want, but it was only dreaming dammit.
Anyways, as we walked down another floor we kinda walked the wrong way to some atrium thingy(dunno what you call it) and got lost,cause the way behind us was suddenly blocked with some sorta black wall and there was no one around.We freaked out and ran till she found a REALLY steep staircase that led down the the ground floor and people. She just ran down the stairs like it was nothing and I almost fell down trying to go after her, only saving myself by grabbing on to the railing.I could feel the height really affecting me as I started to feel very very dizzy.

Oh this blog version of my nightmare is incomplete. I'm putting it in my novel, which is underway now.

Wrote this @ 11pm yesterday (4/10) Posted this today cause I'm lazy.

damn moral

omg its 12 in the morning and I'm doing HOMEWORK!
yes I did just say that.
I'm doing homework for once
shit.


Can't stop thinking bout you.
Hope you like my book.

You enthrall me so.
I can't even think coherently when I look at you.
Yes you have that effect on me.

I know I might not be a part of you.
But never mind.
Cause I don't wanna do anything that might unbalance the course of your beatiful life.
I do hope you will share your pain with me though, if you would.
Cause I wanna know what scares you at night.
So that I may ward off those fears for you.
But even so, I will not let my pain be yours.
It hurts badly enough.
I don't want you to feel that pain as well.


Let these tears turn into snow as they fall from me.

Hope this works.Whether I stay solitary or not depends on this

I've made my first move, and guess what? Ima let u guess =D
Which is great =D I'll start it really soon.Love interest of the main's gonna have her name and guess what? will be like her xD.

Main's gonna be Jared di Angelo Greene.My taken name.He'll be sort of like me.Duh.
I'll think of the storyline when I start to write.I have the intro in mind.

Wish me luck.I really need it.

A plan

YES! I'VE GOT IT!
I've finally figured it out, thanks to good ol' Jon.
The hard part will be how I can get your attention.
I have a plan.
I will work HARD to make it work.
Hope for the best.
Can't let myself down.

21.09.09

Ice skating was a blast.No thanks to Jonathan for making me fall eh? Never mind cause even though it was my first time at skating, he fell more then I did.And HE taught me how to skate.Ain't that ironic.
Yeah and Jon, just tell thata you know who to stop contacting ya.Be honest.

Later went to Mid Valley with Jonathan and his parents.Bought Silent Hill 2 & 3. Jon was like "Hell YEAH!!NAO I CAN PISS MY PANTS AT NIGHT!"
Lata we got to borders and obtained Max which is fifth book of the Maximum Ride series adn the lil version of the The Force Unleashed novel.Again, Jon was like HEY I CAN DO IT MYSELF WITH MAX AGAIN!
Lol.

Hung out at Jon's place for a while.We played SH3 and when he saw the first baddies, he freaked out.

Went over to Ron's church for Thanksgiving dinner with Jonathan and Susanna and 2 of her friends. The dinner was great but somehow I couldn't fill myself up.No thanks to teenage hormones.Ha.After that, songs were sung.No offense to Christians out there but that apparently was not the soup of the day for us.So we apologized to Ron and left at 8.30pm. Susanna's friends went off, leaving the 3 of us to catch a movie at the cinema of Jusco Kepong.

Gamer. The movie every game junkie should watch.And a must watch for every MMORPG addict.Won't do sypnosis of the movie cause I just won't.

The 3 of us had great conversations together before the movie.Insulted that freak Baboon Kin, and chatted other assorted stuff.Time passed rather fast when we were talking.Jon and Susanna got to know each other better. =D Seems like the 3 of us may have something of a strong bond coming through.

There's a very special girl I'm attracted to.I met her somewhere and she's really cute.I kinda met her through friends and saw some pics of her on FB.Yeah call me a stalker but try not to even look or admire your crush's pics and behaviour and actions.Now I haven't really talked to her cause yeah, Ima shy person.But I'm trying.Hard.

Cassadee Pope.Vocalist of Hey Monday! Excellent guitarist.Cute.Very Cute.I wanna gather up info on her and put up a whatchoo-call-it uh..compilation of facts bout her.yeah.I'm obsessed with her.

Cheers.

Kutsuzure and the lyrics translated into english.

samui ne to kimi ga chiisa na te wo boku no POKETTO ni suberi komase
kogoeta yubi wo sotto atatameteru
tsuyogari na kimi no yoko kao ni sukoshi demo kumori ga aru toki ni
egao de kimi no suki na uta utaeru ka na

shiroi iki wa ima hitotsu ni natte yozora ni tokete yuku

nani mo iwanai de ima kono toki ga tsudzuku to ii ne
boku wa tada mitsumeteru negatteru
shizuka ni tsumoru yo konayuki

oroshitate no kuroi BUUTSU no sei de kutsuzure shita migiashi yasumete
yukkuri na kimi no hohaba ni awaseteru

isoganai de futari no RIZUMU de kono mama aruiteku

nani mo iwanai de yagate bokura wa wakariau kara
ima wa tada dakishimete atatamete
subete wo tsutsunde iru kara

shizuka ni tsumoru yo konayuki

When its' cold and I slip my small hand into your pocket at the last minute.
I warmed the finger that was frozen quietly.
Your face is tough a little, even when there's cloudiness.
The song which you like with a smile, Can you sing?

White breath becomes one, melting into the night sky

Without saying anything, at this moment (time) should continue now
I am merely gazing and hoping
Let the powdered snow fall silently...

Because of your brand new boots, You're resting your blistered right foot, match to a slowly pace,
Don't rush, the two of us will

walk in rhythm. You don't have to say anything cause' eventually

we'll understand each other. As for now,
we're just warming each other up
and embracing everything we have.

Let the powdered snow fall silently...

I'm back.Not that anyone knows.Tee Hee

Yesh Ima pour my heart out here cause I didnt do it right the first time round.
And.Great I have no idea what to post right now.
Um.
I'm done for tonight.It's brief, yeah I know, but there will still be other times to post my thoughts.
Night.